Bartz Fever
by Realms of Destiny
Summary: somone from the team of Chaos has unleashed a virus that causes 'Bartz Fever' among Cosmos' girls and now Bartz is running for his life. He must find a cure for their disease before it's too late! Will he succeed?-ABANDONED


It was another sunny day in Dissidia-Land and Bartz, the brunette who called himself the Wandering Wind strutted across the field, his monkey friend, Zidane, pranced after him. The latter's tail swished across the grassy field.

"Wait up Bartz! Stop mimicking Tidus' speed!" Zidane laughed. Bartz stopped running and pinched his side to catch his breath.

"But I wasn't mimicking anyone," he said with cerulean eyes that shone with innocence. Zidane snorted in disbelief and jumped a little to whack his friend across the head. Bartz tumbled to the ground. He rubbed the sore area on his head and looked at Zidane wide-eyed.

"What was that for?" the Wandering Wind retorted.

Zidane's lips curved into a malicious smile and suddenly, he was growing taller. His chest expanded as did his hips and his clothes dissolved into a white tank top, a brown miniskirt complete with hiking boots and long elbow-length gloves. His dirty blonde hair bled into a sheen ebony colour.

"Tifa? You can shape shift? Or are you Mystique from the X-Men series?" Bartz blinked in astonishment.

"No stupid, it's me! I want you to listen to me," the girl waved her arms with frustration, " You always run away with your stupid monkey-friend and here I am, stricken with love because of you! Heck, I don't even care about Cloud anymore. I need you, Bartz!"

Bartz stumbled backwards, fear growing inside him.

"What happened to you Zidane! Don't let Tifa's soul take over you!" he pleaded the form before him. Tifa smacked a palm over her own forehead and rolled her eyes.

"Stupid kid doesn't understand my feelings...Men, they're all the same..." Tifa muttered to herself. Her eyes narrowed with determination and she resumes into a fighting stance. "Never mind Bartz, I shall have you the hard way!"

Bartz lets out a girlish squeal when Tifa jumps at him like lioness jumping towards her prey. Bartz quickly rolled to the side making the bartender fall face first onto the grass. Another scream escapes from beneath Tifa. The ebony haired girl was pushed away and another one of Cosmos' warriors lifts from the tall grassy grains.

"Lightning, what are you doing here?" Tifa asked her comrade but Lightning wasn't paying attention to her. Instead she was staring at Bartz with a greedy look in her eyes. Bartz gulped audibly and immediately started running ahead, the two girls charging after him.

"What's going on!" he screamed at them. This was worrying for him indeed. Lightning and Tifa were acting completely out of character! Nature reflected his thoughts and dark storm clouds devoured the sun.

"We love you Bartz!" the girls wailed. Lightning removed her gunblade and threw it at the Fallacious Thief. Bartz ducked just in time and mimicked Yuna's move to summon Ifrit who coughed a huge fireball towards the girls. Smoke engulfed the crazy women behind him, giving the Wandering Wind a chance to keep running.

An small airship landed in front him and Zidane was waiting inside.

"Bartz! In here!" his friend beckoned, extending a hand to which Bartz caught. As the airship began flying upwards, Bartz felt a tug at his leg. Yelping in horror, he glanced at Lightning clinging onto his leg and Tifa clinging onto her waist.

Lightning licked her lips with a crazed look, blue eyes gleaming with vehemence. "You can't escape, Bartzy-pie!"

"Aaaah!" Bartz screamed again. Zidane removed Boco's feather from Bartz's pocket and tickled Lightning's waist.

"Take that!" he exclaimed. However, the woman merely blinked at him. Zidane raised a brow with confusion spread across his face.

"I don't get tickles monkey-boy," Lightning muttered.

"Then how about this!" Zidane kicked Lightning across the jaw causing her to lose her grip on Bartz's leg. She and Tifa fell down, screaming while Zidane pulled his friend onto the mini airship. Rain pounded against the glass windows.

"Zidane, I thought you were possessed by Tifa!" Bartz said worriedly.

"I'm not but you're in deep danger, Bartz."

"Eh? How come?"

"Someone from Chaos' team has spread a virus that's causing 'Bartz-fever' on Cosmos' female warriors and I mean it, once it hits them, they'll..." Zidane paused, too afraid to finish his sentence. Bartz placed a hand on his shoulder to urge him to continue.

"They'll what Zidane?"

"They'll...Love you...To death."

The sound of thunder erupted in the background and blue lightning lit up the airship for a split second.

"Nooo!" Bartz gasped, stumbling backwards and tripping over a few seats. Suddenly, they heard the cackling sound of flames coming from the engine of the airship.

"Looks like we've been spotted..." Zidane whispered solemnly, removing his hooked swords to get ready to battle the intruder.

"Zidane, what're we gonna do! I'm too young to die!" Bartz ran around in frenzied circles.

"Calm down! I have a plan. If we find the person who's behind this, we can find a cure!"

"Oh Bartzie-poo!" A small dwarf female stood at the entrance to the bridge. Shantotto let out an evil laugh as sparks of lightning formed at the tips of her fingers.


End file.
